This goes out to all my baby mamas…

Recently I purchased Fantasia’s CD and out of all the songs on ‘Free Yourself’ (which is very good I might add) that Baby Mama song got trapped in my head.

B-a-b-y

It wouldn’t let me be as I drove up I-680 at breakneck speed to try to flee the chant. I sliced through highway 24 to the Bay Bridge and hurled three dollars at the toll-taker, wheels screeching as I begged for mercy. Really, I really wanted to think about something else but there it goes again

M-a-m-a

Oh somebody help me…please.

This goes out to all my baby mamas…

I made it home somehow, hours later. I wandered to my computer to Google the song, wanted to see if there was something (This is what I get for purchasing a new CD on my tight budget) I could do to make it STOP. Finding nothing, I tried plugging my ears with cotton and borrowed my neighbor’s motorcycle helmet. As I slid the helmet over my head and resumed my internet search, I ran across an article about Halle Berry. Seems she wants a baby ‘whether a father is in place or not’.

B-a

Maybe Fantasia’s song is taking over the space in her head too?

b-y

Oh, Halle, Halle, Halle girl. You know, she is the only woman I know of that has more ongoing, continuous drama than me. The thing is, nobody would ever know if she didn’t tell it in such excruciating detail. Part of me wants to tell her to shush, but on the other hand I honestly admire her because she is not afraid to show just how human she is. Not afraid to reveal that she could become a baby mama too, at least as far as being a single mother goes anyway. Waiting for child support checks she will probably not be doing.

Songs carry a lot of weight in our lives, whether we realize it or not. They can entertain, mark significant milestones in our lives, and reveal signs of changing times. Giving birth to a child out of wedlock has traditionally been regarded as bad, sinful and something only loose women allow. A generation or so ago in this country, if you couldn’t marry the daddy and got pregnant you were sent away and the baby was likely to be given up for adoption. The child was never spoken of again and everyone moved on as if nothing ever happened, if they knew what was good for them.

Times have changed and what was once done in the dark has been brought to the light as evidenced by this anthem. Your average person will be quick to remind you that it’s a sin to bear children out of wedlock of course. What’s interesting is that more and more women who are financially independent have decided to become single mothers right alongside those who achieved this same status by circumstance. Changing times will eventually give way to different attitudes and beliefs. Although the baby mama song has been hard for me to manage in my head, there’s no denying that it is an attention grabber. I commend Fantasia for expressing herself and for standing up and saying here I am, deal with me the way I am because I’m going to hold my head up regardless.

Each of us must follow our own path. We all have our own unique set of issues, circumstances and beliefs that have led us to where we stand today. What works for me may not necessarily work for someone else and vice versa. From the projects to Beverly Hills women are faced with more increasingly accepted choices with regard to motherhood, and I say choose wisely and may God bless you.

Chandra Adams

Author

Shades of Retribution

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