Trapped In The Dark

Trapped in the Dark

With the force of a pit bull’s toothy grip on some poor soul’s behind, all sorts of images and reports of the DL (Down Low) syndrome seem to have emerged into both popular music and stark reality. A friend of mine recently sent me a link to R. Kelly’s ‘Trapped in the Closet’ video, part 2. You know the one, where the scorned pastor husband reveals he has a secret he’s been itching to tell too. His mystery woman, his secret lover, is actually a man. Very, very interesting and highly dramatic.

That was enough DL drama for one day, I thought, and I think many would agree. Little did I know that some more would show up in the newspaper, so I innocently perused the online version of the San Francisco Chronicle to find that Terry McMillan (Disappearing Acts, Waiting to Exhale, How Stella Got Her Groove Back) is divorcing her current husband because he’s now gay.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/06/26/BAGTQDF4S01.DTL

My jaw dropped. Any residual grogginess from my late Sunday morning sleep-in disappeared as I shared the news with another friend on my free long-distance anytime minutes. I relayed the news, piece by piece as I gathered it myself. Jonathan Plummer, 30, met McMillan when he was a ‘20-year-old kid’ from Jamaica. Within a time span of six or so years of marriage, he had arrived at the conclusion that he is gay.

Is that like figuring out that you don’t like peanut butter, or you prefer butter over margarine? Is it reversible? Like, could he wake up one day and decide that he’s heterosexual again? Is it interchangeable? Could he just declare that he’s bisexual, and jut keep everyone guessing? Oh it’s so confusing.

Truly, this man’s sexuality is unremarkable except he really screwed up things up for his soon to be ex-wife. For one thing, he doesn’t understand her ire, and that might be where the age difference comes into play. Reportedly he’s upset that she kicked him out of the house and called him a few derogatory names. He’s lucky that he didn’t find himself actually buried under the house, as far as I can see. Now there’s hardly any doubt that marrying someone twenty three years your junior would include a great deal of risk. Let’s see, when you’re 53, he 30, when you’re 73, he’s 50, when you’re 93, he’s 70. When you’re 103 he’s 80. You can probably see where I’m going with this. When you’re well into your hundredth box of Depends, he’s still jogging around the block.

But if you really want to mess a woman up rope-a-dope style, I mean if you’re really want to leave her a angry, frothing, humiliated mess, conveniently drop the gay bomb when she complains about you hanging out with that special male buddy too much. Don’t forget to act like you don’t understand what the big deal is, after all. She’ll be defenseless, then you can easily go in for the kill. Accuse her of trying to destroy you with homophobic epithets and demand that you get royalties for a story based loosely on your love life with her. Uh, sweetie, when you took that $62,000 from her account without her knowledge, you don’t count that as royalties? Just curious.

When I reflect on the ‘Trapped In The Closet’ video part 2, okay, we see how old R. is stuck in the clothes closet, and you can say okay, crazy pastor husband had been metaphorically trapped in the closet too, right? What about being trapped in the dark, which is the state a lot of women find themselves in when their mate reveals their true selves in some hurtful way. Everyday people face the demise of their love relationships and simply grow apart. It just seems that sometimes people forget to leave the other with at least a sense of dignity, and in this case a sense of personal well-being, sanity and health. I hope Ms. McMillan can emerge from this and find herself in a better place.

Chandra Adams
Author
Shades of Retribution
http://www.AdrolitePress.com
http://www.ChandraAdams.com

The Trouble With Pit Bulls

The Trouble With Pit Bulls

In some ways I tend to admire folks who love their pets as they would children. I must admit though, that I love animals most when I am positioned at a healthy distance, with the exception of small, cute dogs. I hope to own a bison frise one day or one similar calm breed of dog that could fit neatly in my arms. I actually used to be a cat lover until I realized that they have few qualms about scratching one’s eyes out if they feel cornered or threatened in some way.

Whether I’m in the minority or majority with my views on animals and pets, I’m just glad that there are people out there who genuinely care for them because animals should be treated with respect. The way a human being treats an animal is a good indicator of how they will eventually treat the people around them. Protection and respect for the lives of animals is extremely important in social and environmental terms.

Last Friday night I was driving down Lincoln in San Francisco and was surprised to see several ribbons of yellow police tape flapping in the wind as it stuck to two or three tall lampposts. A few police cars and a fire engine lined the streets for a couple of blocks and the driver of a truck in front of me almost ran up on the center divider as he tried to figure out what was going on. He wasn’t alone in his curiosity – I slowed down to try to catch a glimpse of bystander’s faces but it was just too dark. I was able to contain the questions in my mind until I sat down at my computer hours later.

His name was Nicholas Scott Faibish and he was twelve years old when his family’s two eighty-pound pit bulls, Rex and Ella, mauled him to death in the family’s home. The boy had been left alone with the animals and police have yet to determine what triggered the violent attack.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/06/04/MNGCUD3O661.DTL&hw=pit+bull&sn=005&sc=703

Many of the neighbors described the two dogs as friendly and good-natured. Only a couple of people in the neighborhood had noticed signs of aggression. And so the city is similarly divided – many fear that pit bulls will be discriminated against from this point on, and others can’t figure out what there is to argue about – they perceive the dogs as a threat and feel that ownership of them should be restricted. I consider myself to be a member of the latter group, and I’ll tell you exactly why.

In looking up the definition of pit bull, I found two entries. The first entry was ‘American Staffordshire terrier’ which was further described as ‘A strong muscular terrier of an American breed with powerful jaws, a broad skull, and short hair, originally developed for dog fighting’. The second entry was considered slang but stated ‘One who behaves in a markedly aggressive or ruthless manner’. To be fair, I also utilized the same reference to look up descriptions of Doberman Pinscher, German Shepherd, Rottweiler and even Chihuahua. No where, and I do mean no where in the descriptions of these breeds did I find words or phrases such as ‘powerful jaws’, ‘dog fighting’, ‘markedly aggressive’, or ‘ruthless’. These are descriptions typically reserved for wildlife such as sharks, alligators, lions and tigers.

San Francisco Bay Area residents are known for their fondness of pets. Dogs can be found in abundance on the streets of San Francisco and Berkeley, and I know at least two people personally who own at least eight or nine cats and one or two dogs. I have seen a man relaxing at a street café with a parrot on his shoulder, another with a rabbit on a leash, and it wasn’t unusual when I was in high school for one of my classmates to bring her pet snake to class. As I bring to mind images of Noah’s Ark, I can’t over-emphasize the magnitude of the problem with pit bulls. Their very name engenders fear in many, and their presence in our neighborhood too often produces violence and death for our children. Four years ago Shawn Jones of Richmond, California, was attacked by three pit bulls in which he lost his ears and has since endured several painful surgeries. He was only ten years old at the time of the attack and has just returned to school and a public life only about a year ago. JaQuan Rice Jr., an eleven year old from Concord, California had his arms and legs chewed by two pit bulls this past March. If these acts of violence don’t classify pit bulls as wild animals, I suppose I’m not sure what a wild animal is exactly.

I’m fully aware that it is difficult to single out a breed of dog, because other breeds of dogs are more than capable of attacking a human being under the right conditions. I was watering plants on my porch recently when one of the neighborhood kids jumped over my next-door neighbor’s porch railing and onto mine. I thought he was playing with his friends when it turned out that the Rottweiler from across the street was about to help himself to a chunk of the poor boy. Luckily the owner rescued him, but if he hadn’t me and the boy would have been faced with a vicious dog to deal with.

I heard a statistic recently that out of 355 dog attacks in the past year here, around fifty percent of them were by pit bulls. Need I say more? But I guess it will take a few more tragedies before people wake up.

Chandra Adams
Author
Shades of Retribution
www.AdrolitePress.com
www.ChandraAdams.com

Box Office Blues

Box Office Blues

Movie theaters around the country are suffering a decline in moviegoers, it seems. I, for one, would much rather wait a month or two for some marginal movie to come out on DVD. That way, I don’t feel so bad about dishing out a little less than four dollars over a potentially very disappointing flick instead of at least twice the amount. If it turns out to be a good movie, then I will have enjoyed it from the comfort of my own home theater.

Of course what I’m mentioning here is nothing new to anyone who enjoys a good movie. It’s just that Hollywood kind of forgot to let the movie theater companies know that they’ve changed up their strategy. They’re pumping out DVDs and making them accessible to the consumer because that’s where the real revenue stream begins. Bad opening weekend? No problema, just yank it from the theaters and place it in retail outlets to be rented over and over again and watch the money roll in. Think I’m kidding? Well Walmart knows what I’m talking about. The company recently entered into an agreement with Netflix to cross-advertise rentals and sales of DVDs. http://money.cnn.com/2005/05/19/technology/personaltech/walmart_netflix.reut/

This way, both Netflix and Walmart can establish themselves as one big, slobbering DVD behemoth.

Let’s get back to the box office situation. I am the first to admit that I enjoy the excitement of opening weekend if there’s a movie I’ve been dying to see. The decision to make on which theater to attend, what time to view it and whether I want to catch the earliest show or the latest is all a part of the fun. There’s nothing worse, though, than to get one’s self all worked up to see a movie based on the trailers when it turns out that the ads for the movie were the only high points of the flick. After a few colossal movie disappointments I tend to shy away from the box office. Then, months later, the lure of another slick thriller or sci-fi movie will peak my interest and I’ll be waiting in line with my hard earned cash, only to be disappointed again.

Here’s the situation as I see it. Most movies offered to the general public really, really suck. In most cases, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. A few manage to surprise and actually be worthwhile, but they are too few and far between to even mention. If a company is going to spend millions of dollars on marketing, advertising, actors, producers and directors, why not take the time to make it as profitable as possible? Why not invest the time in building stories that more people can relate to?

I’ve been reading quite a bit that most moviegoers aren’t ready for a black (African-American) leading lady. Well how would anyone know if an honest effort isn’t put forth to make the casting enjoyable and believable? Why don’t we have more positive and interesting stories about all types of ethnic groups, Indians, Africans and Asians? Why, when Latinas are cast in roles opposite black (African-American) men are they usually lighter with straighter hair? If we are truly beginning to embrace Latino culture in mass media, why aren’t they truly represented in their vast array of shades of brown?

Movies tend to represent or reflect our own hopes, dreams, fears and occasionally even our own realities. Movie theaters will continue to suffer and moviegoers will continue to wait until the price is right before taking a chance on a movie. What happens to the movie industry remains to be seen, but until it gets better you know where to find me – in front of my Netflix DVD with a bag of microwave popcorn.

Chandra Adams
Author
Shades of Retribution
AdrolitePress.com
ChandraAdams.com