Tom, Oprah and Katie

Tom, Oprah and Katie

I’m so glad that I discovered late-night Oprah reruns, I feel somehow reunited with her world since I always manage to forget to set the VCR. I was even more pleased to find that I had tuned in to the Tom Cruise interview. I’d read some commentary about his alleged head-over-heels demonstration of love for Katie Holmes, and I would get a chance to see first hand this much-discussed display of admiration with my own two eyes.

Allow me to clear something up right away. I’ve never been a huge fan of Tom Cruise. I’m sure he’s a wonderful guy; he’s good looking and a powerful box office magnet. My rebellious streak has kept me from embracing Hollywood’s golden boy, mainly because he’s Hollywood’s golden boy. With that said, he almost won me over at one point as Lestat in Interview With The Vampire but the movie ended up making me sick to my stomach. His performance in Vanilla Sky encapsulated everything I despise about Hollywood and their chosen ones. Doing little more than showing off a million dollar smile for two hours and sixteen minutes does not a good movie make. Cruise’s role in Collateral with Jamie Foxx, however, really made him more accessible to me and I’ve been growing increasingly comfortable with giving him credit for his talent.

So around 1:05 am, as I stood in my living room working my biceps with an impressive six pounds of iron, I watched Tom Cruise join Oprah onstage as her studio audience almost hyperventilated, fainted and went into shock in one fantastically nauseating display of admiration for this man. Now I will admit he does have a nice smile and once could acknowledge a certain charm he might possess. He’s definitely getting better with age.

Next thing I know Oprah is all over him about Katie Holmes and for the next few minutes (more like, the rest of the show) he talks about how fantastic she is. Most remarkably, he proceeded to jump around like he had just won a soccer game to emphasize his woman’s virtues. Oprah egged him on, commented that he’s normally so private, and asked him what had changed. Tom went on to explain that Katie is just so astronomically incredible, how she just really cares about people in the world and blah, blah, blah. He broke into another round of unbridled enthusiasm and jumped up on Oprah’s yellow leather couch with his shoes on.

Now I don’t know about anybody else, but I would have had to tell him to get his behind off my pretty leather couch, jumping up and down like he’d lost his mind. Maybe when you’re a multi-millionaire and you can replace it with no problem, it’s just not a big deal. But where I come from, that’s just a no-no. My grandmother kept her couch covered with plastic, so you know you had to be straight out of your mind to even think about standing up on it. My mother had a kind of quiet “try-it-and-die” way about her, so I didn’t think about stomping on the family furniture either. So for Tom Cruise to do this on Oprah’s couch, on her television show, in her studio for God’s sake, tells me a few things about Tom, Oprah and Katie.

Tom is whipped. Or, he’s facing a mid-life crisis (he’s 42, she’s 26) and really needs the attention of this young woman.

Oprah is truly a genius. She is very smooth in her dealings with all types of people. Oprah can take an absolutely mundane topic and make it mean something. For instance, who cares if Tom is in love with Katie? At first I thought she must be having a difficult time finding material for her show. Then, as I watched Tom drag Katie from backstage to kiss and hug her on national television, I thought to myself now that’s how a woman ought to be treated. When you think of how many women would love to receive even a fraction of the admiration and affection Tom Cruise showed Katie Holmes in those few minutes, I really started to see that the show may have touched somebody out there and could inspire someone to want more from a relationship.

Now as for Katie, she must be puttin’ it on Tom somethin’ fierce. I was waiting for him to start speaking in tongues the way he was carrying on. To get an Oprah show devoted to how good your loving is, I have to give that woman some respect. So whether they are poised to take Brad’s and Jen’s place as the new Hollywood beautiful couple or the display was all one big, absurd stunt to prop up their upcoming movies, it was a definitely a noteworthy spectacle.

American Idol Revelations

American Idol Revelations

I drove home in the rain (is this California or Washington state?) in mid-May relishing the thought of watching television. It was going to be a flip-flop between American Idol and Revelations on NBC, and I knew just the right time to check on the AI results. You know, the results show is murder. A whole half-hour wasted. They should do like Powerball and take about three minutes to announce the winners. I’m surprised that no one has fainted on that results show, or slapped Ryan Seacrest because I know I would have to at least try.

Bo Bice has been my favorite from the very first time I heard him sing, he’s the real deal. When I listen to him I’m transported back to junior high school, where I often sat in my yellow bedroom listening to K101 play Journey, Chicago and the Eagles. When I mention that I like those groups to some folks, they look at me like I was transported from another galaxy. Yes, I will admit it. While all of the friends I have now were listening to Run DMC, I was listening to soft rock. I usually try to play it off like I was deep in hip hop from the beginning, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth, I confess. Shoot me and string me up in the hood from the highest lamppost.

I watched Vonzell audition for the show and knew she was going to be around for a while. She would be my favorite right now, but for some reason I just can’t connect with her. Carrie is also a great singer, but I find her difficult to connect with as well. They are both very pretty women and will probably do well, but Bo moved himself far ahead of the pack when he sang a cappella on last night’s show. He is a true rock star, one that I was afraid would be overlooked because of the other ‘rocker’ Constantine.

Sometimes I wonder why I still watch American Idol. Every year it seems I make the decision to never watch again, and here I am, once again. When Ruben won I cried like black people had just won the right to vote, in my living room on the phone with my friends long distance. When Fantasia won, I almost cried, but she wasn’t my favorite at the time. Now that I have her cd, I’m very glad she was the one. I won’t cry when Bo wins, but I will be looking for his cd.

I would love to see Arsenio Hall replace Ryan Seacrest. I’m sure it would help ratings. But wasn’t he rumored to have once dated Paula? Maybe not a good idea, since her other, uh, ex-boyfriend has caused her enough trouble with ABC Primetime exclusives. So when will this show end? Will I follow it next year? I even allowed it to interrupt my viewing of Revelations, a very good miniseries. I wish they would show it again after American Idol’s finale. The only criticism I have of the miniseries is that it didn’t include a very diverse cast. But I suppose that if I ever gain creative control over a miniseries, I can make the cast look like whatever I want. Well, at least the Antichrist in the story didn’t emerge from the Congo or Egypt or something kooky like that, and they didn’t include any black (African-American) actors in the plot only to have their heads lopped off or endure some other extremely grisly murder early on in the show. I was most impressed with Michael Massee’s performance as Isaiah Haden the murdering Satanist, reminded me of some managers I’ve had in the past. Well, I guess I’ll have to try to get my Netflix movies delivered for Wednesday nights from now on or just give in and go to the gym.

Chandra Adams

Author

Shades of Retribution

www.AdrolitePress.com

www.ChandraAdams.com

This goes out to all my baby mamas…

Recently I purchased Fantasia’s CD and out of all the songs on ‘Free Yourself’ (which is very good I might add) that Baby Mama song got trapped in my head.

B-a-b-y

It wouldn’t let me be as I drove up I-680 at breakneck speed to try to flee the chant. I sliced through highway 24 to the Bay Bridge and hurled three dollars at the toll-taker, wheels screeching as I begged for mercy. Really, I really wanted to think about something else but there it goes again

M-a-m-a

Oh somebody help me…please.

This goes out to all my baby mamas…

I made it home somehow, hours later. I wandered to my computer to Google the song, wanted to see if there was something (This is what I get for purchasing a new CD on my tight budget) I could do to make it STOP. Finding nothing, I tried plugging my ears with cotton and borrowed my neighbor’s motorcycle helmet. As I slid the helmet over my head and resumed my internet search, I ran across an article about Halle Berry. Seems she wants a baby ‘whether a father is in place or not’.

B-a

Maybe Fantasia’s song is taking over the space in her head too?

b-y

Oh, Halle, Halle, Halle girl. You know, she is the only woman I know of that has more ongoing, continuous drama than me. The thing is, nobody would ever know if she didn’t tell it in such excruciating detail. Part of me wants to tell her to shush, but on the other hand I honestly admire her because she is not afraid to show just how human she is. Not afraid to reveal that she could become a baby mama too, at least as far as being a single mother goes anyway. Waiting for child support checks she will probably not be doing.

Songs carry a lot of weight in our lives, whether we realize it or not. They can entertain, mark significant milestones in our lives, and reveal signs of changing times. Giving birth to a child out of wedlock has traditionally been regarded as bad, sinful and something only loose women allow. A generation or so ago in this country, if you couldn’t marry the daddy and got pregnant you were sent away and the baby was likely to be given up for adoption. The child was never spoken of again and everyone moved on as if nothing ever happened, if they knew what was good for them.

Times have changed and what was once done in the dark has been brought to the light as evidenced by this anthem. Your average person will be quick to remind you that it’s a sin to bear children out of wedlock of course. What’s interesting is that more and more women who are financially independent have decided to become single mothers right alongside those who achieved this same status by circumstance. Changing times will eventually give way to different attitudes and beliefs. Although the baby mama song has been hard for me to manage in my head, there’s no denying that it is an attention grabber. I commend Fantasia for expressing herself and for standing up and saying here I am, deal with me the way I am because I’m going to hold my head up regardless.

Each of us must follow our own path. We all have our own unique set of issues, circumstances and beliefs that have led us to where we stand today. What works for me may not necessarily work for someone else and vice versa. From the projects to Beverly Hills women are faced with more increasingly accepted choices with regard to motherhood, and I say choose wisely and may God bless you.

Chandra Adams

Author

Shades of Retribution

AdrolitePress.com

ChandraAdams.com

Down Low

When I first heard about the Down Low drama, I was watching a preview of the Oprah Winfrey Show. The author of “On The Down Low…” J.L. King, had information to share that every woman involved with a Black man should know. Like many of my friends I decided to tune in, only to hear what I had already been told by a couple of my friends, who are black and gay. J.L. King sat on Oprah’s couch and shocked many in the nation about this new wave of deception – and warned many to beware, because someone you love could be lying to you. Just because your man says he’s heterosexual, it doesn’t mean that he is.

Which raises a very important question with regard to promiscuity in general: What drives a human being to be unfaithful to the point of destroying another person’s health?

The San Francisco Chronicle recently published a trio of articles by Jason B. Johnson about the Down Low controversy and the spreading of HIV and AIDS in black communities http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/05/01/MNG4TCID0F1.DTL. The first was a broad examination of the connection between AIDS, black men on the DL and the rising number of black women contracting HIV. Another article profiled the evolution of one black man from heterosexuality to homosexuality. The other, and most compelling story was one of a preacher husband who knowingly infected his wife with HIV.

Why are black communities so unwilling to tolerate open dialogue about homosexuality and AIDS? According to health and social advocates, ‘black men have had to front when it comes to the issue of homosexuality, because of the extremely strong stigma against it. In black churches, homosexuality has long been decried from the pulpit.’

If we keep going at the current rate, we won’t have any black communities to worry about. It is a real tragedy that black men and women haven’t figured out how to communicate with each other on real, life-threatening issues. So many factors come into play that I’m not really sure it’s fair to place the blame solely on the men. I do believe without a doubt that it’s wrong to be unfaithful, to lie about the status of your health when it comes to HIV and STD’s. Here’s a questions that needs to be raised – how many women lie and deceive themselves to maintain the status quo? Many of us, raised in very strict, Christian households, don’t have the advantage of knowing what’s going on with our mate who may be more worldly. For those ladies, my heart goes out to you. But then, quite similarly to their husbands and mates who like dudes, some women prefer to pretend that nothing’s going on. They may sense something’s not right, but by the time the kids have arrived, the Mercedes is parked in the garage, the four-bedroom house is in full effect and they’ve established a certain status in their churches and communities, it’s easy to just act like everything’s cool. Becoming increasingly more responsible for ourselves whether we are married, single, dating or otherwise is the order of the day. Regular HIV testing is essential for all of us these days. Before the condom comes off, find out who and what you’re dealing with.

One thing I’ve observed is that the only thing worse than lies are secrets. Secrets are like poison and hurt everyone, from the person that harbors one to the person that never had the benefit of knowing that pertinent information. I’d like to see more churches encourage people to be open and to be themselves, their whole selves, so that more individuals may be truly healed.

Chandra Adams
Author
Shades of Retribution
ChandraAdams.com